Is it ok to Ask for Spanking During Sex and other Quick Sex Tips as a sort-of Beginner’s Guide

May 22, 2019

Is spanking okay? You should ask your partner

Spanking’s most common sexual kink there is. Surveys have pegged as many as 75 percents of people enjoy some form of BDSM and more than 80 percent of people have tried spanking. Spanking’s not only fun but it’s very erotic. It’s also inexpensive – no ropes, costumes, or sex toys needed. It’s all there in your hand to try and enjoy, and if you want to take things to the next level with costumes and toys, you can. Spanking’s a great introduction to a whole closet of different sex opportunities and it’s up to you to decide whether you want to go there or not.

 

Is asking for spanking during sex ok?

 

Absolutely. It’s dipping a toe into BDSM without going far in and it’s common. Let your partner know what you like, and if you try it and hate it, no harm is done. You can let your partner know you’re not into it and you can move on to something else.

 

How do I tailor sex to turn me on more?

 

What turns you on and what turns on your partner is at the centre of the shared sexual experience. Everything done should be done with consent, of course, but done to turn you, your partner, or both of you on. The best way to have better sex is to sit down with your partner outside of a sexual situation and have an honest discussion about what turns you both on.

 

What do I do if my partner asks for BDSM?

 

BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It counts for a lot. If your partner asks for BDSM, maybe it’s something to try if you’re interested in giving it a try. If you enjoy it, you can play with how far you want to take it. If you don’t enjoy it, you can at least say you tried it. There’s nothing wrong with asking or being asked for BDSM, and can be an absolutely wonderful and mind-blowing experience.

 

Should we have a safe word?

 

If you’re doing anything that’s close to or testing your boundaries, you need a safe word. It can be anything you want it to be. Some couples use a red-yellow-green system where green means “go”, red means “stop”, and yellow means, “things are getting a little intense but we can keep going”.

 

Is there a right way to spank?

 

Yes, actually there is. Always spank the fleshy part of the butt and in an upwards motion. You don’t want to be hitting down on bone on anywhere else. Also, you want to vary where the spank is happening on the butt as well as to rub the butt in between spanks. That’s because when the same spot is hit, again and again, you end up with a bruise. The rubbing can also help with some of the soreness while keeping a spankee’s attention locked into the sensation of hands on their butt.

 

Is there a right way to do BDSM?

 

As long as you’re approaching BDSM with the continued consent of your partner, everything’s good. That said, some people approach BDSM unsafely. You have the right to change your mind about doing something you’re uncomfortable with, even if you agreed with it previously. This is why we always recommend practising BDSM only with someone you 100% trust.

 

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